Confessions Of An UnOrGaNiZeD Mom

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him.

—Proverbs 27:14

TODAY’S DARE

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only

NIGHT BEFORE THOUGHTS

Ok, how the heck can I pull this one off without telling him I'm taking the challenge!  So I'm open to any and all suggestions for a "modified dare" LOL, so please help me out!

MY EXPERIENCE

Ok, I sucked it up and just flat out asked him to name three things about me that irritate him.  I was not judgemental (although I will be here!) listened patiently and then told him that I would work on it.  Here's what irritates him:

1.  I have a constant attitude:  In my own defense I only have an attitude because he puts the entire pressure of our household on my shoulders.  He's laid off and has been for 3 months now, but I still work 8 hours a day, have to come home and do wash, clean up dinner, get the kids ready for bed, check Ry's homework, pay the bills, etc.  If I don't collect ALL the garbage it won't go out.  Serioulsy I have to bag it all and put it by the door.  In my mind this is enough to drive ANYONE to a nervous breakdown.  He has 8 hours alone everyday, and I don't get 10 minutes until the kids are in bed.  It's very hard.  I even have to get the kids ready in the morning for school/daycare as I'm getting ready for work because he won't wake up!  Maybe this is selfish, but I feel like if he's not working, at some point he needs to take on the role of the stay at home dad. 

2.  Our sex life:  Ok this one is way too personal I know, but he doesn't seem to understand that after doing all this EVERY DAY I am just physically and emotionally exhausted......I'd rather sleep than be intimate, and it's the truth!  If he could even get off his damn computer game an hour or two before the kids go to bed things might be different, but he's literally OBSESSED with his online game, and will play it until I tell him (usually more than once) that we need to take Lo to bed (we always do this together)

3.  I'm not the same person I was when we met: I truely wanted to go off on him with this one but didn't.  When we first moved in with eachother we lived with his father.  My only care in the world was keeping our bedroom clean, and occasionally washing dishes.  Then we were married and bought the house and suddenly I'm responsible for keeping up with it, and fixing what I can with duct tape because I get tired of asking him to fix things.   Of course i'm going to change....I have more stress and anxiety at this point than I've ever had in my entire life!  Let's not forget the fact that I was 25 when we got together and now I'm 32.  I feel like I've had to grow up for the two of us.

So this was my day 5 for better or worse, and maybe it's wrong that I felt the need to defend myself, but to be honest I feel I'm justified.  Like I posted before I'm not the June Cleaver wife, and never will be.  He has it in his mind that this is just what I'm supposed to do, and honestly he needs a freakin wake up call.

I can only imagine a life where the only thing I really have to do is carry out a few garbage bags and maybe once and a while throw a slab of meat on the grill.  I'm a VERY strong person and I know that, but no matter how many times we talk about it, and I tell him I can't do all of it, nothing ever changes.........so at the end of day 5 I'm left frustrated.